time to have the courage and strength that you didn’t have before and drive it into the whole. If you want this to work you are the one that has to do it. No one can do it for you. What does that lead you at the end? What does that make you at the end? To get what you want or fix what you think would become better, you do it yourself. So, go do what you have to do and whatever happens, happens because the lord doesn’t give you any task that you can’t get through.
It’s time for a CHANGE. A new year for a different experience. Time to make a change for the better. I’m excited. No more fucking up. Time to do it right.(:
For all of you, that’s been there for me. I’m so grateful for all of you for being in my life. All of you inspired me to be better and be who i am now. Without all of you i wouldn’t be the same. Thank you. I love you all. (:
the smile on your face, brightens.
the warmth of your palm makes me jitter.
the laughter upon our conversations, smiles.
the echos of no sound while we are near each other, nervousness.
the sweetness in your eyes is remarkable.
the gentleman in you is convincing.
having the sense of care is cute.
being yourself is even more charming.
the liking of you has caused me to understand a new meaning.
there is more to life than physical contact and impressions.
to be who you are is more than enough.
I hope you know i hate you.
if you’re listening, thanks.
you fucked me over.
I stooped to your level.
Then i picked up from there.
I gained the strength to be better.
I hope your listening..
because i am better than you.
you say you are “different”, no.
you are FAKE.
i have more heart than you will ever have.
i hope in life you will get far.
i wonder if you knew i talked so much shit.
i hope you did know.
i have gained from that and learned there is no need for that.
you have you’re own karma one day.
i hope you’re listening..
because you were my greatest mistake.
And to ateh Gel thank you so much for yesterday. It really meant a lot to me. You really understood my position. Hahah we really need to kick it again it was fun.
I hate my life. don’t take me wrong. I’m speaking from my heart. Ever since the whole bs with that nigga. Fucked me up so bad. Mama don’t trust me thinks i’m lying everytime i go out. the fuck? does she really think i want to have a reply of that shit? no i am a grown ass lady who knows what she is doing and is learning from her mistakes. I love her. but I just feel like i dont belong anymore.
Hahah so today is finally the day. Wish me luck hahaha. (: hopefully I wont be a nervous wreck or shy! hahaha. =]
“ Love is universal.
Take the Lead
okay so its been awhile since i’ve been on here. I don’t know where to start.. This christmas eve and christmas has not been the way I thought it would be. The action that I have placed upon myself awhile back has turned my life upside down for a particular person in my life. & that person is one of my brothers. I don’t know what to do. I mean kuya I made my mistakes and i’m learning from them. Why can’t you accept that I am growing up and learning. I understand that I am your baby sister and I always will. But can’t you see what you are doing is hurting me also. I can’t bare to look at you in the face. I’ll just sit there on the couch saying nothing binding my own business trying to keep myself together before i break down. And usually when i do feel like i am. I just go into my room and do it there. You don’t understand how much I’m hurting from this. You know I have to live with what I have done and face reality with it. I know you are hurting and everyone else is hurting also, but what can i do? There isn’t anything i can do. What will locking myself in the house and do nothing everyday solve? I mean what i did was unforgivable and shocking because when you see me you would never think i would have done that until many years from now. What can i say.. I fell in love. But I was wrong. And I’m suffering the consequences for what i have done. What else do you want me to do? You not talking to me isn’t going to solve anything. I love you kuya and it hurts me everyday just to know that I lost one of the closest thing to me. You have been there for me since I was little. I can still remember when I always used to sleep with you in bed cause I wasn’t used to my own room or I always watched t.v. in the room with you and kuya james. Can’t you accept my apology? It makes me think that you don’t love me anymore. Makes me think you dishonor me as your sister. I mean I understand that everyone else is talking to me and dealing with it but I know they are still hurting. even mom. Oh god, mom. There are no words that can explain how much I would want to take everything back and start all over. but that wouldn’t make the person that I came out to be. I am more mature I have learned and I am still learning. It’s a life in progress… Kuya i miss you… It’s not the same anymore. At the house I can’t bare to be there whle you are there because I know I would just cry. And then everyone would be going crazy and asking questions. Especially dad.. I can’t say anything to dad. You know dad would want to kill. Kuya I am sorry for what I have done.. I can’t take back what was already done. I hope that there will be a day when you will talk to me and hopefully pass. I want everything to be normal, I can’t have everything that I ask for. But I hope that you know I am still growing kuya and I know that what was done was done, but i just really wish that it woudn’t be like this…
FUCK YOU NIGGABITCH! YOU HELLA DISGUST ME ! OUT OF EVERYTHING YOU’RE MAKING YOURSELF GOING DOWN TO HELL!
hahahahahha I HOPE YOU BURN.
